Giovanna Fletcher has opened up about one of the most painful chapters of her family life, breaking down in tears as she revealed her son’s struggle with a little-known school condition.
The author and mum-of-three, who is married to McFly’s Tom Fletcher, shared the emotional moment on her Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast while speaking with Child Therapist and Anxiety Specialist Saskia Joss. Giovanna disclosed that one of her boys suffers from EBSA — Emotionally Based School Avoidance — a condition that makes attending school feel impossible.
Trying to describe the months of battles to get her child through the school gates, Giovanna grew visibly overwhelmed. “We had months and months of trying to get one of our kids into school,” she said, wiping away tears. “And one day, when he finally said, ‘I want to, but I can’t’… it was everything. We understood. And we had to honour that feeling.”
Giovanna did not identify which of her children is affected, but she and Tom share sons Buzz, 11, Buddy, nine, and Max, six.
Saskia explained that EBSA is often deeply misunderstood — not only by other parents, but by schools themselves. “It’s absolutely awful for the children, because they want to go, but they can’t,” she said. “It’s not the same as a child simply refusing school. This is fear.”
She added that children with EBSA often feel as though danger waits for them at the gates, in the classroom, or even in the playground. Giovanna revealed that a “designated safe space” was created for her son, but it still wasn’t enough to ease his fear.
Saskia noted that some schools unintentionally make things worse by insisting children attend only certain subjects, such as English and maths. “That’s not going to work for any family dealing with EBSA,” she said. “It’s too restrictive on something that already feels overwhelming.”
What is EBSA?
Emotionally Based School Avoidance describes children who struggle to attend school because of overwhelming feelings of fear, anxiety or distress. It is sometimes referred to as school refusal, school anxiety or emotionally based non-attendance.
These children often want to be in class — but physically and emotionally feel unable to go.
Giovanna admitted that the hardest part is often simply getting her child through the school door and keeping him there. Saskia explained that the root cause may be linked to something happening at school or even something going on at home.
Children may fear leaving a parent if they worry the parent might not be okay without them — especially in cases where the child feels responsible for the parent’s wellbeing.
The podcast’s comments section quickly filled with emotional messages from listeners. One parent shared that her son’s EBSA became so severe he required a feeding tube at four years old. Another recalled feeling the same “monsters at school” fear in the 1990s, with no recognition or support at the time. Many others compared EBSA to a form of phobia — a gripping fear rather than simple reluctance.
For Giovanna, the topic remains raw and deeply personal. She continued the conversation through tears, thanking Saskia for helping shed light on an issue so many families face alone
